Six Degrees of Separation from Death

Recently, there was a horrific accident in the town where I work. It reminds me of a strange phenomenon I've observed about people when this sort of thing happens. They want to indicate how the event relates personally to them, and will stretch far and wide to find some connection to the people involved. Why is this?

In my life I have been far too close for comfort to death, disease, and the dying process. I want nothing to do with it. I hate to admit it, but when I hear of something like this I breathe a sigh of relief that it wasn't me or someone I know. I do feel empathy towards the family, but I'd rather not think of it at all. It's just too much.

Why are some people wanting to get closer to it? This is something I don't think I'll ever understand.

If it makes you happy...

I just love that Cheryl Crow song. The problem is, I never really know what makes me happy until I'm already in it. In fact, I seem to be most miserable when I'm TRYING to make myself happy.

I recently got something I've been wanting for a long time. Then I sat there waiting to feel the bliss, the excitement, the all-out Yee-Haw-ness of the situation. Nothin'.

My husband said, "Maybe we're just not meant to be happy all the time." Thanks a lot Mr. Sunshine.

But then I thought about it. Happiness comes from stuff or events, and is fleeting. Joy is deep-rooted, part of the soul, flowing through our very being. Once I caught on, I realized, like the folks in Oz, I have had joy all along. I just couldn't feel it because I was too busy trying to be happy.

Brrrrr!

So, our furnace is in disrepair. We are waiting on a repairman to install a new one. This will happen today if all goes well. If all does not go well I think I may scream. I am not merely tired of being cold in my home. I have whined so much about it that I'm tired of hearing myself whine about being cold.

There are plenty of people for whom today does not bring a chance of warmth. There are people who live just down the street from me who have to wait until May for their house to be warm again. Who am I to complain about the inconvenience of having to cart space heaters to the room I move to when others would love to have the option of that inconvenience?

Maybe it's my apathetic heart that's making me cold.

Waving to Prisoners

Today on the way to work I waved to a busload of prisoners. To be fair, one of the prisoners waved to me first. Is this ok? I do this kind of thing a lot, second guess my actions. Did I somehow invite prisoners now to break into my home? He waved first, it would be rude not to wave back.