Brrrrr!

So, our furnace is in disrepair. We are waiting on a repairman to install a new one. This will happen today if all goes well. If all does not go well I think I may scream. I am not merely tired of being cold in my home. I have whined so much about it that I'm tired of hearing myself whine about being cold.

There are plenty of people for whom today does not bring a chance of warmth. There are people who live just down the street from me who have to wait until May for their house to be warm again. Who am I to complain about the inconvenience of having to cart space heaters to the room I move to when others would love to have the option of that inconvenience?

Maybe it's my apathetic heart that's making me cold.

Me and the Old Guys

I've always had a thing for elderly men. Now, before your little mind goes in the gutter let me clarify. I think they are sweet and wise and honest, and most have seen enough of this life to have let go of the silly concerns that keep most of us from saying what we mean. In other words, they can be a little crass, but they get away with it. I love that.

I was at a meeting last night with a few older gentlemen and one was particularly friendly to me. When it was time for the meal he said, "I'm gonna sit by this pretty young lady!" (meaning me, people, catch up) and I was flattered. Then he said, "I like to look at the ladies and at 75 that's about all I can do - look."

I wasn't sure what to do with that. Maybe as a woman I should be offended, or at the very least a little uncomfortable, but all I could do was giggle. That charmer.

Fuel Shortage

Yesterday I had an intellectual breakthrough at work. A data problem I'd been trying to figure out finally came together. Today I can't hardly speak in full sentences. I guess brainpower is finite. I need to start looking into alternative sources.

I'm Back?

Ok, so two blogging friends, a monkey and a chick, suggested I keep this thing up. I haven't written anything lately, frankly because it started to feel a bit awkward. It reminded me of those times when you tell a joke and no one quite hears you so you are just sitting there waiting for the guffaws to abound and someone says, "Wha? Did you say something?" Never happened to you? Oh.

What I Miss Today

Anyone who's ever lost a loved one knows that what you miss differs from day to day and that place in your heart that was broken when they died is never really repaired. My parents died 22 years ago. Today I miss them because they would have been the keepers of the best stories about my childhood. They had a better capacity than I to put those moments away and cherish them.

No Thanks Mom.

I am amazed by how simple life could be, if only we were all toddlers. My son was eating dinner last night. He decided to try some turkey. He didn't like it. He spit it out in my hand. Done and done. No need to complain about the taste, no need to later say, "Can you believe what mommy served for dinner? What was she thinking?"

Of course, I don't especially like holding my son's half-chewed dinner in my hand, but I can appreciate his sentiment.

Giving

My heart tugged a little as I walked past two young men on the street. My son was cranky, so while we waited for our food at a nearby restaurant, we had taken a walk outside. I was reminded that just as I held my little boy in my arms, their mothers had done the same, and how my heart would break if my son was ever in the same situation. I had no money to give them, so I just smiled as I walked past.

After dinner, I came out of the restaurant stuffed to the gills carrying a box of leftover food. I saw one of the young men digging through the garbage across the street. I immediately knew I couldn't possibly bring extra food home when he was unable to get a decent meal. As I gave him the styrofoam box I felt humbled that God had allowed me to serve in this way. Such a simple thing, not even a sacrifice, yet He used me for good.